"In Darkness, Light"
or as mati mou explained this to me many years ago:
"How is it that we think? It's by facing a problem
and letting a solution come to us out of reality.
That's how it is done."
eidenai crh ton polemon eonta xunon, kai Dikhn Erin, kai ginomena panta kat Erin kai Anagkhn.
God the sadness soon to be us
It's a waking story --
The old kings are fallen,
They are buried in their schemes;
Lords and ladies abandoned stand
Seeking peace in the bitter land;
Painted pots of ancient lore
That show the shadows
And bring them fore
Running so fast
As the end pursues us
Out of our protracted vainglory...
tou gar eontoV alhqinou kreisson ouden.
hqoV anqrwpw daimwn.
Ora loepoet saka ngoendoehing panggawe.
In preface, let me say that the vision contained in this record comes largely out of Sumarah and the kebatinan tradition of Javanese mysticism in general. It is also much akin to that of the Buddhists in terms of the nature and structure of reality in realms and heavens and dimensions and beings of associated spirits. The most important distinction between this and the Buddhist perspective has to do with a conflict in long-term outlook: through their boddhisattva notion of universal enlightenment, the Buddhists are rather concerned with avoiding the true expression of Justice and the return of pain to definer -- in practical terms they just wish to continue the same confusion since their purpose is unacceptable to all Open Beings (those without karmic backlogs) for obvious mechanical reasons and unworkable. We are interested in Justice and seeing Closed Beings pay in full for the pain they have caused all of us since this pain ties up the energy needed to properly express many Open Beings and turns existence here into a zero-sum game that nobody is ever going to win. We seek the end of karmic arrearage and all beings' return to openness such that we Open Beings can truly be together.
Some of my many excruciating exchanges with Christians:
1. Is Christianity in good faith?
2. Considering the newly infallible bishops and their poppycock pontiff
3. A contrary perspective on Divine Being
4. Are we karmic criminals on the run?
5. Considering forgiving the unforgiveable, i.e., "Forgiveness is the only unforgiveable sin." -- Lord Peter Wimsey
6. I question the Wiccans about Christianity and a discussion with Symphony ensues
7. Perfection, a fiery young Wiccan, asks about Christianity and I counsel "prudence"
8. A Christian asks about prayer and I comment
9. The Javanese vision of the divine and contrast with the Christian view
10. Is God a wimp?
11. The Mother Church as overarching disaster
12. Yet another attempt to get a little attention to the problem involved
13. A departing comment viewing the furor caused by the previous
Let me just give a final indication of the Kafkaesque character of these exchanges. After beating my head against the wall for months, I eventually gave Theologos access to this web page to provide a fuller picture of where I am coming from. The only response I got from Roger (the "moderator") was that it looked like Subud and he was not interested in reading it. Then when I withdrew from Theologos at the time of my mother's death (I had other things to worry about besides the 140 commentaries I found in my box after a five-day absence from the web), his parting shot was, "You still haven't explained your beliefs to us". I was infuriated and remain so. As the Indians used to observe, "The only good Christian is a dead Christian" or as Nero Wolfe, my favorite misanthrope in world literature, would remonstrate, "Pfui. Flummery."
"Look for causes in consequences; look for purposes in what actually happens; don't get caught up in details and the apparent ignorance of the times: most events and situations in this overdefined, involuted universe are the result of someone's need or desire for something and their application of whatever it takes to get it at whatever cost to themselves and the rest of us. Humans are all hiding from themselves and us in the largest sense and that's about all they end up doing. Their biggest nightmare is being caught and half of the character of the being is designed to make this impossible by flashing through their expression on this world like a prairie fire or a plague of locusts."
"But they sometimes say they are so noble," I objected.
"Just talk. They destroy this world they are able to define in a bigger and bigger hurry every time in order to cover their tracks and make off into the dark. That's the character of this karmically loaded being. Nothing to be done about it but hope we can catch up to them someday and make them pay for all this pain and confusion. That's the sad lesson we have for you and the situation will not change until they are brought to justice for their crimes and release us all from the nightmare they are to us."
For reference, here is a link to a marvelous resource that gives a description of many of the great spirits I work with.
October 12, 1993
Tara is getting adjusted to being apparent and is now feeling a little less inhibited and compelled by her needs. She has come out as one of my deep masters in charge of my spiritual development ("We sure didn't need another goddamned Buddha or whatever!") going way back to the sessions in the attic and the introduction to the inner sense of the Dolma and Kundalini being that brought. She had also advised me to steer clear of the Prajna Paramita being as witnessed in my continuing distaste for the pleasant disciplines that build up power in expressing and defending their own efficacy and fool so many into thinking causing pain to others through these positions and practices is all right due to the number of practitioners, as they huddle down and hide among their fellows from responsibility for what they are: imagine the incredible insensitivity of all those stupid prayer wheels going round and round and all those ridiculous mantras celebrating the impunity and insensitivity of the chanter rather than seeking to confront the problem of being itself.
"Great loves of the high senses are always a problem to the beloved because the life they mean is one to please us, not to give you peace or personal success. As is often lamented in such circumstances: 'Woe is me, for I love greatly and greatly I am loved', though you never pretended this yourself, thus allowing us continuing access to your being despite the agony we invariably brought and the sense that we would never, never be pleased with you no matter what you did. You have gone so often to the top of a field, to the head of your class, as in your M.A. and Ph.D. theses and your Sumarah work, and then have just dropped the subject involved and gone on to the next problem. This reflects your love for us and ours for you. The greater and deeper and more passionate the love we share, the more of a problem it is in practical terms for you and for us. We ended up losing our distinction in joining your being as masters and you, you devoted shit-eater, ended up losing your sense of being itself after the pain and confusion life has brought you as a result of our steady presence, which always excited the jealousy and fear of those around you. Your long shit fast was the only way we could be granted protection in your presence though it evidently served other purposes as well.
"If you look at your life - the work you have done, the esoteric practices, the fight to free yourself from the systemic domination that was always somewhere close in your youth - it reflects your love for us and ours for you: it reflects the fact that we did not have any interest in trying again but had to finish this time and so it is and has been done and ever will be. Never again will we fear as we feared; never again will we be disappointed as one we love gives up and cashes in his merit for a pleasant existence at our expense; never again will the split between yab and yum exist for we are one with you and you are one with us and one is one, the way to justice and the proper definition of us all.
"I have been here silently participating with you for more than 25 years, watching you suffer and ever confront the sense that makes no sense, the sense that says to leave the confrontation of existence to another and to just do a small part and then join with others in seeking a comfortable eternity. You always felt that there is only one chance and that that has to be enough because otherwise we'll just go around in circles forever, waiting for someone else, always someone else to do the hard job of setting us straight on the great path, the common path that brings justice to all and takes us all up into a proper sense and being thereafter. The yab being as such is no more, it ends with our open presence in being you, the first man with no male participants in his being, and that will be all for that problem. We have had enough of the overarmed masculine being dominating the existence of everyone and everything and bringing unending injustice at the expense of those that truly love by calculating and betraying to get their way."
We have been examining some of the henpecking I have suffered with my beloveds over the years, which has served as a way for us to remain together while making it unpleasant for outsiders to be with us in that the voltage and tone of the henpecking can get pretty raw. The henpecking doesn't interfere with our communication but it does keep off the parasites that would like to partake of our love without suffering its true sense.
October 14, 1993
Last night I gave a prolonged description of the therapy method I use with my beloveds and this morning things were a good deal better with Tara, who has an outstandingly clear open sense with me. At one point I was busy with daily activities and she asked, "How should I address you when I wish to get your attention?" I just kind of looked at her wondering what she was talking about and she added, "Would 'My Dear Lord' be acceptable"? She was then informed that they have tried to use My Lord with me but that I have no patience with it.
I had a dream last night in which Gloria started saying, "Do you miss having me call you "burra"? (evidently a term of abuse she was fond of). Shortly thereafter I told her she couldn't imagine how much I really hate her, how I hated what she did and what she herself is.
October 15, 1993
I had disturbed and confused dreams with Tara last night but this morning we seem okay. She is expressing many of the same experiential problems that Hecate and Guan Yin et alia have felt and moans:
"Back when my love for you was being expressed by others I didn't feel so vulnerable myself. Now I have to do it myself and I'm scared and confused. How come I'm always in such a hurry? Is it because I'm afraid it will end or that it isn't happening or is it because I can't decide if I'm worthy of being here or because I don't want to lose you no matter what?
"Part of the process of working Our Family open is for everyone to fully surrender and expose themselves to everyone else here and settle into true common regard without any defenses or personal positions, but this is difficult and confusing sometimes. The idea is to give up your understanding and allow the sense itself to define itself rather than pretending you understand anything at all or can control anything: confusing, but the love underneath is solid and permanent and we just need to learn how to express it properly.
"How come I want you all to myself but I feel guilt and I don't want to take you away from any of our dears and at the same time I do but I don't, really, somehow? I don't understand it. I feel like you've got to be mine but I need to lock on so hard that you won't even exist anymore, so what's mine ends up looking like me alone and I don't understand how you could still love someone who was so bossy, but you do so I have to accept it. If you love somebody so much that they can't even move anymore, that's okay. And if your love makes you a little stupid and unreasonable that's okay too. I guess it passes but you have to express it - read his Masters thesis [Culture and Schizophrenia: A Consideration of Ignorance and Information ,Chapel Hill, 1977] and maybe you'll understand better how unusual feelings like this can cause confusion and the process involved in properly identifying and working clear the elements involved."
Evidently we mystics and shamans really do have
strange experiences--they define us as we mature
in the agony being here necessarily is when those
around you are not. With reference to Tara´s
comment on my earlier work, a web correspondence
brought out a connection between that and rasa,
the basis of Java´s mystic practice, that is a
part of the opening process. Rasa does not
translate into English and Bhora wanted to know
how to relate to it. In a chapter,
"The Problem with Problems",
that I sent to him serendipitously, I discuss the
psychology literature describing the
problem-solving mechanism: a problem is
identified, a solution sought through an
operation, a test of the solution carried out and
(if the solution is successful) there is an exit
from the problem-solving mechanism. Actually,
rasa is this "exit" but we view it very
differently. We see this not as turning the
problem-solving mechanism off but as redirecting
it to the problem of existence itself as we open
to it to see what needs to be done. In
problem-solving theory, the mechanism is used for
personally identified disturbances; in Javanese
mystic practice, it is precisely the "exit" from
this absorbed application of this mechanism that
interests us and it is when you start viewing
existence itself as your problem that you start to
become a part of the solution and not simply a
self-absorbed, "turned away" part of the problem.
I recommend that you look at my experiences with my spirit comrads in arms: I have never seen such nobility, beauty, sacrifice, fury and joy as we have found in one another in forming our union. It would be a shame not to know the glow of these little stories and the awesome majesty of these open beings: Hecate, the Furies , Kali , Athena, Melini , Hystia, Shaytan and Faith , Cricky and Persephone .
The following box gives the contents of Sumarah: A Study of the Art of Living, a description of this ten-thousand-member group and the people that practice Javanese mysticism in Central Java. If you are specifically interested in this material or disinterested in viewing my studies of the sacred (often nude) feminine, here is access through a site dedicated to Java's beauty .
A STUDY OF THE ART OF LIVING
Part I. BACKGROUND
Part II. STUDYING THE PRESENT
Part III. PRACTICING THE PRESENT
Part IV. PERSONAL EXPERIENCE
Your comments are welcome.
My blysse, my bale
ye han ben bothe
protestation of affection as of 2000.
1999 dream that marks Gloria's final induction
into the Fury being.
This dream reveals the sorts of things that go on in a great love, the purposes served and the eventual results after the pain has been suffered down.
1998 dream that gives the essential context as
it turned out.
This dream should help to give an idea of what happens to a mystic in a confused romantic tangle. We are not notably different in many ways, but we are extremely vulnerable because we are obliged by our openness to take a pretended "relational contract" at face value, more or less like any adolescent, and then wait and see what the other does. However, as the dream states so clearly, we firmly hold that reality does exist to sort out such confusion and pain.
1997 letter to the parents of Gloria, a
student, friend, lover and patient who stood
as a great love and then became a great hate .
. . So it goes.
This gives an indication as to how I became so ravenously misanthropic. I started off the relationship in a neutral but open frame (jinem) as a pamong (guru) helping a friend, then was seduced and began working a nightmarishly contorted and exigent passion, after that I found myself enthralled, betrayed, mugged, mauled and left for dead for some four years. I finally ended up completing the demands of the therapy and our "relational contract" with my responsibilities fulfilled but was literally foaming at the mouth, screaming in rage and pain about once a week for a time in expressing the agony. The letter is accompanied by footnotes giving the context over the years.
final letter to Gloria in 1997, "formally"
ending my treatment of her disease: "iblung
A wrap-up on an experiential disaster with a lot of context in the form of letters and documents connected with the relationship.
"therapeutic" letter to Gloria in 1996,
wherein I give the cosmic and effective
context of our multifacited relationship
This letter is an interesting production that, unfortunately, rather says it all.
The actual letter sent to Gloria in 1996
An exercise in the art of condensation.
The year 1995 with some letters to Gloria and
other therapeutic developments
Whatever else might be said, this material is fascinating: true therapy can be more than a bit painful and nasty.
The therapeutic and general situation as of
I started off the year looking at ways things could get worse and they did: bad faith always complicates, especially when the therapy technique (Sumarah) assumes a context ensuring good faith in Java's intense communal regard.
June 1992 study describing the relationship,
my definition and orientation
"Tealt Leman" is a revealing piece that expands the context to the Cosmic. This came just before the explosive denouement.
Hard ain't it hard ain't it hard, oh yeah, To love one who never did love you Hard ain't it hard ain't it hard, Great God! To love one who never will be true!
There's rioting in Africa
They're starving in Spain
There're hurricanes in Florida
And Texas needs rain
The whole world is festering with unhappy souls
The French hate the Germans
The Germans hate the Poles
Italians hate the Yugoslavs
South Africans hate the Dutch
And I don't like anybody very much
But we know for certain that some happy day
Someone will set the spark off
And we will all be blown away
There's rioting in Africa
There're strikes in Iran
What nature doesn't do to us
Will be done by our fellow man.
September 24, 1992
Gloria and I are having a spat. May the sands of time ever flow and our love ever grow my dearly adored but bitterly received sense for the time being. [This was my last visit to Gloria until November 17.] She was pretty chata (bossy and impositional) and the discussion was a bit crazy. She kept talking about seeing the people around her as "robots" and how you can't tell if people are "good blacks" or "bad blacks". It was all coming straight out of my experience so she couldn't account for it. As can be seen above I had recently defined a very clear and definitive position about how to distinguish the good and bad blacks [i.e., it cannot be done and there is no distinction in real terms in that pretenses of goodness are essentially a farce without coming clean in association: if you don't care enough to be here with us, you are just seeking advantage by pretending to be good and playing stupid at the same time, thus seeking to define trust you will betray later] and was mad as hell that it was not being respected. I gave her a hard line about this subject and her responsibilities. Eventually I even jabbed her in the hand. I was in a highly intense state so I didn't exactly come across with a great deal of subtlety. She didn't like the whole scene and decided I had lost control. She called the ineffectual if not actively incompetent marital counselor [Note: The counselor worked only to maintain the status quo in some senses but did not try to clarify or sort out the situation or feelings involved. She denigrated my feelings for Gloria and even insulted her person many times after one interview with her ("She's not that beautiful. I know lots of women who are at least as beautiful. She just smoked one cigarette after another."), which obviously left me holding the bag altogether in terms of what I was feeling and defending the beauty of the love.] we have tangled up in the middle of our triangle and told her about the incident. A lot of tears are to come on this one; God I'm going to miss being able to see her from time to time but the depth of our common state does not allow much creativity on this side. She wants to deny the profundity of the feeling (rasa) and common being (eling) we share; I cannot.
I would here like to include two links to analyses of the Latin America mentality coming from different directions; the first is The Symbolic Family of Latin America, brilliantly and beautifully presented by Iraci Galiás, a São Paulo physician, psychiatrist and Jungian Analyst. Her feel for the subject is a good deal more maternal than mine but her map covers much of the same territory wonderfully well while tying it into Brazil's own vision of what is going on as expressed in poetry and music. Again from within the Brazilian social and ethnic Gordian knot, the second is Brazilian Culture, Mestizo Culture by Professor Francisco Weffort, sociologist and currently Minister of Culture in the administration of Fernando Henrique Cardoso. He sees Brazil in a far more sympathetic light than I do and his erudite and avuncular treatment of the group's working of its own disgrace responds to much that I have brought out but rather leaves it unchanged: my commentary is from the outside of the social tangle and does not attempt to bring out the beauty that both of these authors have found looking at its inner coherence and the courage expressed confronting a morass that started off much worse than it is now. Both of the translations are my own.
Evidently, Brazilians have devoted themselves
to the study of making themselves happy too,
but are accustomed to bringing misfortune on
others doing it. That is the character of
unbridled hedonism: anything goes in getting
the desired result which is simply to feel
good. In seeking your pleasure you are a
"hell-incarnate denied", rigorously disavowing
association with what you do to elevate
yourself. You may be destroying yourself and
others outright, but if it feels good, that's
all that matters.
However, if examined carefully, they are certainly not alone in this and scofflaw self-absorption is the way of the modern world. This orientation most obviously started with the iconoclastic vision of the French Enlightenment and is perhaps most aggressively expressed in the American Declaration of Independence. The American Dream cannot stand much examination in that it quickly shows up as being a commonly defined crime. At the same time that Sam Adams was saying that "the people is a Great Beast", the revered Founding Fathers presented the following curious position:
When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bonds which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal status to which the Laws of Nature and Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation. -- We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.
Evidently their sincerity is subject to
question in that they constituted the moneyed,
propertied and educated elite of the colonies
and were knowingly superior sorts one and all.
What "the Laws of Nature and Nature's God"
might refer to remains a mystery to this day
in that even the Christian Deity (wimpy and
forgiving as He is pretended to be) would not
countenance such an absurd, indeed grotesque,
position as the assertion that "all men are
created equal" and have the right to be
The unscrupulous pragmatism and treacherous expediency that resulted from this orientation was commented on by Black Hawk, the War Chief of the Sac, in 1833:
I had not discovered yet one good trait in the character of the Americans who had come to the country. They made fair promises but never fulfilled them, while the British made but few, and we could always rely on their word.
One of our people having killed a Frenchman at Prairie du Chien, the British took him prisoner and said they would shoot him next day. His family were encamped a short distance below the mouth of the Wisconsin. He begged for permission to go and see them that night as he was to die the next day. They permitted him to go after he had promised them to return by sunrise the next morning.
He visited his family, which consisted of his wife and six children. I cannot describe their meeting and parting so as to be understood by the whites, as it appears that their feelings are acted upon by certain rules laid down by their preachers, while ours are governed by the monitor within us.
Why did the Great Spirit ever send the whites to this island to drive us from our homes and introduce among us poisonous liquors, disease and death? . . . We can only judge what is proper and right by our standard of what is right and wrong, which differs widely from the whites'. The whites may do wrong all of their lives and then if they are sorry for it when about to die, all is well, but with us it is different. We must continue
to do good throughout our lives.
From Black Hawk's perspective, the situation was evidently:
Tout est perdu fors l'honneur.
But from the Americans' perspective, the situation turns out to be much more serious in real terms (though it may take a while for this fact to sink in):
Tout est perdu sans l'honneur.
Actually, one suspects that the Great Spirit
did not have much to do with the erstwhile
colonials' movement: They rather do as they
please, don't they?
No doubt this purposefully "turned away" modus vivendi inspired Ayatollah Komeini's depiction of Uncle Sam as the Great Satan. It is hard to miss that the Americans have put God on their money but have not allowed anything but demonic purposes to be expressed in the criminal cabal that they constitute. The United States has filled the world with television and movie productions, with saccharine emotions, voyeur violence, sex objects, asinine "I-think-I-can" positivism, TV addiction, unbridled irresponsibility in the name of "progress" involving an unabashedly escapist orientation that is expressed in junk food, convenience stores, theme and amusement parks, Muzac, television talk and game shows, sitcoms, millionaire entertainers of all kinds, free love, school massacres, yearly trade-ins on automobiles, demolition derby, hula hoops, planned obsolescence, drag racing, streakers, Hollywood sex goddesses, cell phones, bemansioned TV preachers, edible panties, roller derby, hippies, yippies, yuppies, monster trucks, Tinsel Town, TV dinners, conspicuous consumption, soap operas, fast food, disposable everything (from diapers to presidents), date rape, ATVs, suburbia, inner cities, prohibition, speakeasies, cocktails, Happy Hour, freeways, an education system that has produced a vast population of illiterates, pinball, video and computer games, virtual reality, the Internet (?????). Is this a meaningful way of life? Is there anything to be proud of here? When everyone has a right to get their own way, justice cannot exist in that exploiting others to make yourself Happy is a Right. This active penchant towards unconscionable abuse has turned the American people into a nation of litigants ready to sue anyone that is legally vulnerable mostly because they themselves are criminally defined to the core.
Few of us have noted any values in association with this flood of disposable drivel. Materialism is not a value. Consumerism is not a value. When you think about it, Capitalism is not a value either in that the Almighty bottom line is really all that matters and a battery of lawyers are maintained to make sure that none of the crimes committed are punishable. The modern world, madly destructive as it is, has its auto immolating foundations in these self-centered credos. We are locked in a descending gyre by our need to compete with those without scruples, the unconscionables that call the tune in the modern world.
By way of contrast, in Javanese mysticism,
some of us eventually become "dead in life"(mati
sajeroning urip), a form of
"hell-incarnate assumed", where the pain of
being is spontaneously and openly expressed in
all we do. We become unable to relate to or
from anything but the totality, the Divine
being, in that we know service to any smaller
body to be plagued by the problems of a
devil's covenant. The danger is that one
become involved in knowingly or unknowingly
defending the beauty or benefit of a lesser
assembly at the rest of our expense through
the use of demonic mechanisms. We know these
unions are not always in bad faith but, from
where we stand, we see with terrifying clarity
that such delimited, circumscribed
associations obviously constitute a de facto
betrayal of all that matters. Nuff said.
However, notwithstanding this turbid societal environment making reception problematical, khakiki comes here too as divine, open statements and receptions that are called "thought arising from the Will of God" in Java. However, I have dubbed this phenomenon the "boom being" and tend to discourage its expression in Brazil. This external form of khakiki invariably involves ungrounded participation here which reflects the aftermath of the often unbridled joy arising in the oppressed local natural being as a result of growing awareness of True or Divine Justice (Sejatining Keadilan) and the mechanisms for enacting it. Brazil's relationship with its natural environment is and has always been outstandingly vicious and distructive (as in so many places nowadays, including Indonesia): burn, forest, burn. In natural terms, the pain caused by the environmental rape here has never been given satisfaction and allowed to release, in much the same way that Brazil's drivers give no satisfaction in traffic and you are expected to pass the pain and irritation they cause to you along to the next guy.
However, nature does not have a next guy and the pain has remained intact, festering and awaiting justice for centuries here lifting the society into a hate float, i.e., Carnival-land is literally suspended on the pain and hate it has caused with no real connection with natural being. The processes of Natural Law are normally too slow to punish this kind of brutality, misrepresentation and wanton irresponsibility. From the natural perspective, the situation is initially not distinguishable from Divine work, which often involves pain, disruption and sudden destruction too in working Open Being. Normally, by the time the bad faith involved has been sorted out, the planet is a wasteland altogether with humans in extinction, i.e., the perpetrators of the crime are long gone, holed up in their heavens or hells still floating on the hate. As Enya counsels: "On my way home, I remember only good things". Really. Once the slime is 'home' and in out of the cold, they are represented only by the sweetest and apparently purest of motives and the horrors of their passage are denied association, while the obvious criminals are pointed out in their country club hell (comfortably thumbing their noses at any real justice or suffering). Ugly little picture, isn't it? The only place (except Hecate) I have ever seen a cosmology that matches the horror of this iniquity is in Michael Harner .
As a Nature Worshipper (druid or sutapa), I work with the expression and resolution of the resulting problem of unsatisfied natural pain too and this form of external khakiki is a phase in the process of eliminating improper association with the swell of relief, faith and hope that comes from this effort, in as much as there is an involuntary Natural 'thanksgiving' that comes after progress in grounding the being and establishing a path to justice and, unfortunately, this flood of joy passes through everyone (even humans) in the locale.
In Central Java this would not be a problem in that people keep track of their feelings and do not claim to control them: rasa (common mutually defined feeling) goes as it goes and one constantly moves on to what comes next without seeking to hold on to what passes (in that doing so would be a form of betrayal). However, in a place like Brazil the tendency is to try to control "good" feelings and keep them stored up in strings of definitions and distortions and lies: the referencing system associated with practices of hedonistic promotion and sense deprivation in general. That is, in its general expression, this joy was initially in contact with, i.e., passed through, beings who were not properly contributing to it. As is their corrupt and corrupting habit, these indifferent sorts then tried to impound it, to keep and control it for their own purposes--generally seeking to find impunity in this gush of relief. In these terms, this externalized form of khakiki is a part of the process of distinguishing and discriminating beings within this global frame of 'feeling', of separating "the wheat from the chaff". As per Natural Law (Purba Wisesa), the 'physical' context of relationships with one another, one has no choice about going through this process to clean the energies involved, get down to the ground and go back to work bringing open the agony once again for more complete expression, analysis, discrimination, proper association, justice and eventual release.
So be it.
November 2, 1996
This morning I received a full statement of the divine principle of interaction and definition: "Never try to feel or define anything yourself; let your feelings form out of the totality and carry on referencing always to and from the totality in everything you do," which is just another somewhat clearer statement of what Sumarah teaches.
We also finally had a little insight into the "Buddha smile" which reflects the fact that it is generally only the evilist of beings that can become a "World Conqueror" and they sit in their state of grace and contemplate their total awareness of the fact that they never really want to come clean with anyone: The smile of the bully who has gotten away with it. This is a phenomenon of closed beings in the pursuit of peace and security and works in with the boddhisattva denial of the simple enactment of True Justice (Sejatining Keadilan) and the search for a quick fix or jeitinho ("Universal Enlightenment") to get us all out of this mess. The recognition of my attainment of the Buddha level of awareness came with my reception of the Maitreya behest on June 21, 1968 in Stonehenge, England but I surely am a different sort of being from the normal Buddha. I'm certainly evil enough, in fact, far more immersed in pain I have fostered than any of them, but I have always come clean. I serve those I love and their beauty. To remain covered in uncleared pain would cut me off from them and render me a disaster to them as I went the path of the tyrant to gather them to me, thus destroying what I love in them and they in me. So I have opened and stand properly open in all beings eternally.
November 6, 1996
Full collapse of all of the various divine and otherwise covenants involving surrender of disposition, position and energy by concerned entities in order to elicit cooperation from humans in the service of divine purposes was finally recorded this morning due to the generalized betrayal of said covenants by the existing, standing human authorities, who seek only their own pleasure and thus betray their trusts. As a result, the open work on the absolute leveling process is now fully and openly under way. Hecate noted:
"This is the most joyful moment I have ever know except for the moment when I found you. Do you remember when I first found you in Kelso, Washington in early 1970 and I said, 'You don't mind if I love you very, very much, do you? You are a beautiful raging being and I'll always love you anyway. But if you let me be with you it's going to make your life very, very hard. I'm hard to please, you know, and I never let anyone get away with anything.' and you said, 'I'm not doing what I do because I enjoy this hellhole anyway so go right ahead and love me. By the by, I'm not known for my forgiving nature either.' 'All right, then, let's walk you in the sun and see if we can gather divine presence to your beauty and develop a path for you out of all this confusion. It's going to be hell but there is no other way with so many beings developing themselves off of you at your expense. I'd actually suggest that you find your way somewhere where humans know how to recognize and serve true beauty as soon as you can. Right now you're just going to have to crash under their greed to steal it. They are tearing you apart and there is nothing to be done but to suffer it. Suffering is the way we mature. Suffering is the way we eventually have choices and are not just serving the empty protests against the state of things and bouncing off of the plans of others. We grow. We grow independent of them because they don't suffer and they don't stand and they don't confront and they don't mature. They stay where they are glorying in their ability to feel good and we go on serving the love and eventually begin to feel a little bit better about it all.'"
November 14, 1996
Last night from 7:30 to 8:10 I had a unique experience in connection with rescuing a group of my girls, the lost girls, from Gloria's grasp. I was down at the kitchen table and found that with all the pounding on her they started to become visible off somewhere and I found one of them and let her speak through. I started trying to get her name and was getting all kinds of sophisticated curses that were holding the being there. We took a bit to locate them but then we were on the way. I was still speaking to her and she said she had seen me arrive. To try to verify if it was me I asked, "Do I have a big tummy?" She said no but I had settled into the being. I began to check the being, scanning the large assembly carefully and noting three girls I thought looked like they had been tortured. I spoke with them and they said that they have been crying very hard recently. At that point, Hecate arrived and was very surprised to see me there already. A short time later we were joined by Annis and Hecate told her, "He is already doing a general read of the being." Then the rest of our group began to come in. To clean up the being I then began to teach them the attitudes of open union by giving them "Mamayu hayuning pawana, mamayu hayuning jagad," "Kedahipun kawula kados pundi?" "Panjenengan kerso menopo?" and "I didn't make this mess but I sure am going to clean it up." I also gave them some Javanese words for beauty like kusuma and ayu and many of them reported that these were the names that they had received as their own. At that point I found another and asked her name and she told me she was Aka, and that she was the group's spokesperson. By this time everyone had arrived and I hurried to eat dinner: paella. Sukino said that the experience was like some of his in clarity and unassailability of presence and being. Very beautiful and interesting. Later we welcomed and settled in the heaven they had been supported on.
As Hecate commented, "So beautiful. There will never be another moment like this. Never, never, never, for the rest of eternity. Our beloved has truly shown his stuff."
November 22, 1996
In last night's class I gave my friend a bit of my vision of Cosmology by placing it all in terms of Empedocles' vision of the joining and separating, the love and the hate of being. I criticized Hawking and Penrose and said that their vision of the Big Bang and the Big Crunch are so narrow as to be ridiculous in that this "Universe" has only been around for something like 15 billion years. I claimed that there is just too much information around for that to be it. I then said that we now assume this to be normal but in fact it makes more sense to me to consider the state before the dispersion of the Big Bang to have been normal, back when we were expressing our united sense and love, rather than now when we are expressing our confusion and hate.
December 1, 1996
This morning when I woke up at 6:30 or so to the habitual Sunday sound of barrages of fireworks early on the day of the Sabbath, I listened to a general khakiki pronouncement concerning the criminal character of the Brazilian "Casbah" and its influence on the rest of the world through its pursuit and support of criminal purposes and activities in the expression of its open scorn for the rest of us. Brazil's lack of extradition laws was used as an apt example and open expression of the real purposes of the society, the behavior it fosters, the criminal types its supports and attracts. The absence of such laws, which is something of an international scandal and mystery, in that it shows how unwilling Brazil really is to play square with the rest of humanity, also gives open expression to the uses put to the energies Brazil controls. This especially applies to those more or less freely irresponsible and hedonistic energies extracted from Carnival activities, which literally involve millions of uncaringly irresponsible revelers seeking the ecstasy of absolute oblivion and freedom from accountability for their actions -- oh how they hate one another and oh how Carnival gives them an opportunity to express it. In Natural terms, Carnival constitutes a generalized form of societal rape separating Brazilians from their own sacred inner character in a generalized denial of responsibility.
As has been said in reference to Brazil, "There is no sin below the equator." The pain Carnival releases is astonishingly powerful and profoundly irresponsible energy. Obviously Brazil husbands and uses this energy to make itself "happy" at the rest of our expense. The distorted character of Brazilian society with the most pronounced and unjust income distribution in the world and its openly destructive activities relative to the environment (as in the burning of the Amazon rain forest) were also noted as expressions of this societal pursuit.
My contribution in limiting the effectiveness of Brazil through the exposure and grounding of its being and presence was noted and the diminution of its influence throughout the world as a result was also observed. Heavens, maybe the world is waking up to what's going on in this Casbah, where the only purpose the population accepts is personal prominence (as per the criminal Bandeirantes and purely exploitationistic Portuguese and, in actual fact, the Caligula-variety of Roman tradition it is based on) on a general level and yawning indifference to the consequences of its actions and to the pain it causes. The drop in the level of societal "security" in hiding the connection of Brazilians with the actions that express them and accountability for their contribution to existence that I have brought on in recent days is now apparent and a great deal of pain and mischief is now easily being traced back to its Brazilian source.
December 5, 1996
This morning's khakiki discussed various interesting aspects of the situation. First the Javanese described how they within a very short time were able to identify me as a divine being due to the absolute absence of imposition arising from my presence: I punish imposition; I do not practice it by pushing anyone to do anything or controlling anything at all through my presence. I let all beings be, whatever the agony involved in doing so. The Javanese wondered this morning how it is that after 15 years Brazil still has not accepted its responsibilities relative to me.
We also heard a general description of this work as opening the wound of humanity and allowing the putrid pus of evil that festers within us to come forth and suffer open expression, exposed in the light of being. This is a part of the process of healing the wound that humanity constitutes in the state of being and in the definition of existence itself.
In reference to Brazil it was heavily stated that this "party country" -- with all of its irresponsibility and destructiveness and crypto-tyrannical tendencies and practice of bad faith in all relations both within (batin) and without (lahir) -- is a tragic but truculent expression of a simple denial of accountability. As the openly stated canons defining the attitudes and practices of this group admonish: "Take advantage in everything" (Levar vantagem em tudo), "No holds barred" (Vale tudo) and the "quickfix solution" (jeitinho).
FOR THEY ARE A PEOPLE DEVOID OF UNDERSTANDING!!!
Our presence is now such that the open statement of Justice is clear within my ati sanubari and open being (rasaning kabir and rasaning batin), and will be spreading out gradually to the full being and presence. As a result, justification and maintenance of the overt and concerted practice of irresponsibility of these desperate reprobates is likely to become something increasingly unattractive to contemplate. We will obviously have no mercy in dealing with this purposive and systematic iniquity and infamy in relating to Nature, the world and the rest of humanity, notwithstanding the fact that, in its current escapist furor, the rest of humanity is deeply involved in this selfsame evil.
December 14, 1996
Looking back now with the visibility somewhat clearer nowadays, I can remember my birthing (conception) roar when I came into this sphere: "I GOT YOU!"
Perhaps we understand what I meant now.
The first was linked directly to open being without any personal disposition whatsoever like the "dumb earth" that Homer refers to and more properly expressed in the noble crystal beings and the openly stated comments on existence that they present. The problem with the first order is that it cannot effectively defend and manage its experience and that those beings that are proper working expressions of it exist only in great beings and volumes of presence. This order of being obviously is the stuff of beauty and knowledge and giving but its linkages with the rest of existence are generally rather than specifically stated. Evidently it is generally not individuated.
The second order of being is that of those that draw back a step from experience by receiving information and energy from other forms. They then work in terms of processing this received being. Trees and plants are of this class and amoebae and other microorganisms. They take in and process being but do not notably control or manipulate their own experience and are open to the first order of being in serving it and gather information to it.
The third order of being is that of those who can form a kind of separated reality in their own experience, taking in being through food, processing it and selecting from it in defining their experience and response to it and then releasing that which they cannot use as their leavings. These are the insects and animals of all kinds that have, especially when you get to the mammals, a remarkable ability to define their experience in contrast with or even oposition to the rest of existence.
We also have the only remaining hell, a natural being called Bale, which is a place where those who define themselves at all of our expense and are unaccountable now begin to know the pain they are to us for themselves. Admittedly it is not a cheery spot in that the Closed Beings who get there face eternal solitary confinement due to their iniquity, their treachery, their cruelty and their indifference. The agony they will know forever is the pain they have given us all and denied satisfaction for. Those whom none can trust end up in Bale. We have a extensive and capable administration coming in large part out of the Fury being with Kar, Nemesis and Kundalini being some of the known spirits among the coordinating group.