My blysse, my bale
ye han ben bothe
A
protestation of affection as of 2000.
A
1999 dream that marks Gloria's final induction
into the Fury being.
This dream
reveals the sorts of things that go on in a
great love, the purposes served and the
eventual results after the pain has been
suffered down.
A
1998 dream that gives the essential context as
it turned out.
This dream
should help to give an idea of what happens to
a mystic in a confused romantic tangle. We are
not notably different in many ways, but we are
extremely vulnerable because we are obliged by
our openness to take a pretended "relational
contract" at face value, more or less like any
adolescent, and then wait and see what the
other does. However, as the dream states so
clearly, we firmly hold that reality does
exist to sort out such confusion and pain.
A
1997 letter to the parents of Gloria, a
student, friend, lover and patient who stood
as a great love and then became a great hate .
. . So it goes.
This gives
an indication as to how I became so ravenously
misanthropic. I started off the relationship
in a neutral but open frame (jinem) as
a pamong (guru) helping a friend, then
was seduced and began working a nightmarishly
contorted and exigent passion, after that I
found myself enthralled, betrayed, mugged,
mauled and left for dead for some four years.
I finally ended up completing the demands of
the therapy and our "relational contract" with
my responsibilities fulfilled but was
literally foaming at the mouth, screaming in
rage and pain about once a week for a time in
expressing the agony. The letter is
accompanied by footnotes giving the context
over the years.
A
final letter to Gloria in 1997, "formally"
ending my treatment of her disease: "iblung
amuk"
A wrap-up
on an experiential disaster with a lot of
context in the form of letters and documents
connected with the relationship.
A
"therapeutic" letter to Gloria in 1996,
wherein I give the cosmic and effective
context of our multifacited relationship
This letter
is an interesting production that,
unfortunately, rather says it all.
The actual letter sent to Gloria in 1996
An exercise
in the art of condensation.
The year 1995 with some letters to Gloria and
other therapeutic developments
Whatever
else might be said, this material is
fascinating: true therapy can be more than a
bit painful and nasty.
The therapeutic and general situation as of
1993
I started
off the year looking at ways things could get
worse and they did: bad faith always
complicates, especially when the therapy
technique (Sumarah) assumes a context ensuring
good faith in Java's intense communal regard.
A
June 1992 study describing the relationship,
my definition and orientation
"Tealt
Leman" is a revealing piece that expands the
context to the Cosmic. This came just before
the explosive denouement.
Just to give an idea of my mood following the
whole debacle with Gloria, along with 'Crying'
by Roy Orbison and 'Spending
My Time'
by Roxette, a Kingston Trio masterpiece for
the dumbfounded lovelorn,
Hard ain't it hard ain't it hard, oh
yeah,
To love one who never did love you
Hard ain't it hard ain't it hard, Great
God!
To love one who never will be true!
as well as the following ode of misanthropic
consolation from the same cynical geniuses
became my favorites:
-
There's rioting in Africa
-
They're starving in Spain
-
There're hurricanes in Florida
-
And Texas needs rain
-
-
The whole world is festering with unhappy
souls
-
The French hate the Germans
-
The Germans hate the Poles
-
Italians hate the Yugoslavs
-
South Africans hate the Dutch
-
And I don't like anybody very much
-
-
But we know for certain that some happy
day
-
Someone will set the spark off
-
And we will all be blown away
-
-
There's rioting in Africa
-
There're strikes in Iran
-
What nature doesn't do to us
-
Will be done by our fellow man.
-
Now here are some concluding comments from
The Diary.
The first entry gives an
idea of the incredible shared and often
mystical, insane or explosive element present
in my relationship with Gloria, in which we
are communicating things that come out of our
common experience and stand independent of our
control. There is a level of mutual definition
that leaves us with profoundly unusual
experiences and unanticipated reactions. Being
a mystic, I am used to this suspension of
discretionary power in determining or
controlling experience, but Gloria is not. At
that time, she got caught up in the slipstream
of work I was doing and was choking on the
edict I had laid down in my own being as a
"categorical imperative" a couple of days
earlier.
September 24, 1992
Gloria and I are having a
spat. May the sands of time ever flow and
our love ever grow my dearly adored but
bitterly received sense for the time
being. [This was my last visit to Gloria
until November 17.] She was pretty chata
(bossy and impositional) and the discussion
was a bit crazy. She kept talking about
seeing the people around her as "robots" and
how you can't tell if people are "good
blacks" or "bad blacks". It was all coming
straight out of my experience so she
couldn't account for it. As can be seen
above I had recently defined a very clear
and definitive position about how to
distinguish the good and bad blacks [i.e.,
it cannot be done and there is no
distinction in real terms in that pretenses
of goodness are essentially a farce without
coming clean in association: if you don't
care enough to be here with us, you are just
seeking advantage by pretending to be good
and playing stupid at the same time, thus
seeking to define trust you will betray
later] and was mad as hell that it was not
being respected. I gave her a hard line
about this subject and her responsibilities.
Eventually I even jabbed her in the hand. I
was in a highly intense state so I didn't
exactly come across with a great deal of
subtlety. She didn't like the whole scene
and decided I had lost control. She called
the ineffectual if not actively incompetent
marital counselor [Note: The counselor
worked only to maintain the status quo in
some senses but did not try to clarify or
sort out the situation or feelings involved.
She denigrated my feelings for Gloria and
even insulted her person many times after
one interview with her ("She's not that
beautiful. I know lots of women who are at
least as beautiful. She just smoked one
cigarette after another."), which obviously
left me holding the bag altogether in terms
of what I was feeling and defending the
beauty of the love.] we have tangled up in
the middle of our triangle and told her
about the incident. A lot of tears are to
come on this one; God I'm going to miss
being able to see her from time to time but
the depth of our common state does not allow
much creativity on this side. She wants to
deny the profundity of the feeling (rasa)
and common being (eling) we share; I
cannot.
The rest of the entries come from the wrap-up
and the clarification of essentials, much of
which was connected with expressions of openly
expressed khakiki in 1996. This term
comes from Sumarah and kebatinan in general
and refers, primarily, to the speak-through
knowledge that defines a pamong (guide)
in action. A pamong does not speak his own
mind but rather must be clean enough to let
Open Being pass through unimpeded, i.e.,
he/she is a vehicle allowing the expression of
the Mind of God.
However, the term
khakiki also applies to a phenomenon that
seems to come from without in openly stated
natural positions received as a "voice" or a
heavily placed line of thought. This form of
'external' khakiki tends to be
strident, grinding and unpleasant in a context
like São Paulo. In Central Java, where
mysticism is practiced almost universally and
God is granted the right to exist, be wise,
just, powerful, wrathful and even devious,
reception of khakiki is clean and open.
In fact, in kebatinan we do not suffer from
the Divided God, where a necessarily "loving"
diety is worshipped and a dastardly Devil is
viewed ambivalently; they are one, joined in
purpose and in nobility: the two openly stated
faces of Divine work. We recognize that there
are other gods and devils behind this
confusion trying to use us all in one way or
another, but our one, necessarily universal,
Divine Being with many names--Tuhan Yang
Maha Ésa, Ingsun, Sang Hyang Tunggal, Maha
Adil, Maha Kuasa, Maha Bendu, Gusti Allah,
etc.--honors his contracts. Not being
universally defined, other such spirits have
smaller purposes and, frequently, for them
"the end justifies the means".
You cannot be outside the power of God.
Whether you study Sumarah or not, whether
you are aware of it or not, you cannot do,
feel or think anything which is not
contained in the laws and will of God.
(Suwondo 3/10/80)
But even in Java, the experience of the Divine
being is notably different in bustling,
helter-skelter Jakarta, where pamongs tend to
be a lot more aggressive than in the courtly
centers of Javanese culture:
I just tell them: "If you don't believe in
your own existence, don't bother coming." I
don't worry about etiquette; I just clobber
them: "Brother, you're just here trying to
amuse yourself [in other words, you're
wasting my time]." (Jakarta pamong in Solo
on 4/10/80)
However, Brazil is even
more materialistic and worships hedonism and
escapism (carnival, soccer, drugs, sex and
alcohol), contests the existence of divine
purpose and, if at all, generally worships a
God of Love and Forgiveness, while anything
sterner--i.e., punitive--is deemed demonic.
One might propose that a bit of a revision be
placed on the position Suwondo so glowingly
presents: the whole of existence looks a bit
like a chess match and God as we know the
being in Java is precisely able to include all
of the pieces in his vision and work with them
despite their indifference and/or opposition
to his Will and purpose. That don't mean he
likes them; it simply means they're here and
have to be taken into account because they are
definitely an undeniable part of reality and
they frequently have the power to influence
events. The early stages of mysticism do
indeed tend to be a trifle naive and the
association with the divine gives it more
power and more of an impact on circumstances
than is properly true. Whether in good or bad
faith, such attributions of divine omnipotence
do not in any sense correspond to reality in
this hellhole. If God is worth worshipping,
one would evidently hope that his program is a
rather more responsible and well-intended than
circumstances here would seem to testify.
In Brazil, and, in fact,
in the West in general through the Christian
representation, God is a wimp. I recall
suffering one sermon where there was a judge
trying the case of a childhood friend. The
friend was guilty and the judge gave him a
fine but then the judge picked up the tab for
him. So according to the church, that's the
way God is: either a syrupy marshmallow or a
complete idiot whose mercy keeps you from
maturing. In Java, God's primary concern is
punishing betrayal in that betrayal hurts any
who trust you and thus kills all community.
God's mercy is more in line with ripping the
bandaid off as quickly as possible and making
you stand and suffer what you are and what you
do so that you mature and accept your
responsibilities, i.e., your power to hurt
others and their "contractual" calls on you.
That's true mercy.
Meanwhile, here in this
"party country", income distribution is the
worst in the world and (notwithstanding
simpering commentaries to the contrary) the
level of structural prejudice and segregation
places the quality of life of Brazil's blacks
on a par with those in Zimbabwe and is
reminiscent of the Southern US in the 1950s in
its unassailable reality. The societal
hierarchy is based on unabashed tyranny and
corruption with the usual populist attributes.
The corrupt Caesar at the top of the Bahian
heap is referred to as the "devil incarnate"
by those who dare and manages his state like a
feudal fief. At the same time, voodoo is
widespread in Brazil and a regional specialty
in some areas like Bahia. Typically, Bahia
also has a profoundly corrupting musical
tradition targeted at children but celebrating
sexism and lechery with songs like "Filthy
Woman", "Delicious" (sex-object lust), and
"The Bottle Dance" (a girating woman descends
towards a bottle sitting on the ground as if
intending to make sexual entry on it).
Meanwhile, public education hardly even exists
in that the military government gutted the
system and no one since has even contemplated
the investment necessary to reinstate it.
In this strange
Alice-in-Wonderland environment, literally
nobody cares enough about any major issues
involving social welfare or political
corruption to even protest the mess that is so
obviously present. In this light, Carnival is
seen as an opportunity for Brazilians to
forget their problems but nobody ever observes
that forgetting your problems does not
contribute to solving them and that this is
the perfect description of the social morass
that results in Brazil from so much escapism
in so many forms.
I would here like to
include two links to analyses of the Latin
America mentality coming from different
directions; the first is
The Symbolic Family of Latin America,
brilliantly and beautifully presented by
Iraci Galiás, a São Paulo physician,
psychiatrist and Jungian Analyst. Her feel
for the subject is a good deal more maternal
than mine but her map covers much of the
same territory wonderfully well while tying
it into Brazil's own vision of what is going
on as expressed in poetry and music. Again
from within the Brazilian social and ethnic
Gordian knot, the second is
Brazilian Culture,
Mestizo Culture by Professor Francisco
Weffort, sociologist and currently Minister
of Culture in the administration of Fernando
Henrique Cardoso. He sees Brazil in a far
more sympathetic light than I do and his
erudite and avuncular treatment of the
group's working of its own disgrace responds
to much that I have brought out but rather
leaves it unchanged: my commentary is from
the outside of the social tangle and does
not attempt to bring out the beauty that
both of these authors have found looking at
its inner coherence and the courage
expressed confronting a morass that started
off much worse than it is now. Both of the
translations are my own.
But on a deeper level,
Brazil rests on an incomparably incompetent
vision of 'demonic revel as societal purpose',
harking back to the grotesque reigns of
Caligula and Nero in Rome, and carrying on the
tradition of ruthlessly exploitative
Portuguese colonization ("The king is dead.
But don't get excited, the next one will be
even worse."). The whole bacchanal has
something of the character of a pirate feast,
as in the month-long carnivals in the
Northeast that are followed by a flurry of
unwed mothers nine months later. As was
observed concerning Brazil in the 1800s,
"There is no sin below the equator."
The tendency in viewing
any miscreant behavior is to assert that
everyone is really basically corrupt and thus
there is nothing to be done about it (casting
the first stone by criticizing individuals or
the corrupt body politic is very dangerous and
invariably results in vicious ad hominem
attacks: no one disputes the veracity of the
charges but a concerted effort is made to
smother and suppress the source) while
traditionally no one is punished anyway as
impunity reigns and "everything ends up in
pizza".
Evidently, Brazil also
practices and justifies open irresponsibility
in its many forms of hedonistic mysticism (candomblé,
umbanda, macumba and "low" spiritism), all
of which are more or less open practices of
black magic or voodoo. Offerings of the local
rum and food are often found on street corners
even in a big city like São Paulo and a former
president performed animal sacrifices in the
basement of his mansion while he was
orchestrating the theft of a billion dollars
from his own country. These widespread and
socially condoned practices focus heavily on
power acquisition, "works" (which are often
vehicles for revenge when a pai de santo
is hired to curse your enemy), and also on
personal experience control. In day-to-day
relationships, one outgrowth of this sick
environment is that Gerson's Law (presented by
a soccer star in the 1960s in a television
commercial), "take advantage in everything" [levar
vantagem em tudo], is the overtly espoused
credo of the culture and society, evidently
leading to the assertion that "I'm the best;
fuck the rest" is really the way of the world,
as can be seen everywhere, and only fools
believe otherwise: Brazil is truly a classic
betrayer cabal.
In Javanese mysticism,
the lowest, the most debased and honorless way
it is possible to relate to existence is
hedonism (golek penak, i.e., "seeking
pleasure"). Some individuals do get that
confused and think only of themselves and
their pleasure but the idea of a whole society
dedicated to such a meaningless purpose openly
and unrepentantly is rather daunting: Sodom
and Gomorrah in our times with the whole world
now seemingly anxious to follow suit. But the
real issue in a betrayer cabal is connected
with all of us. As Suwondo said concerning the
practice of Sumarah:
We study here to seek happiness together,
not for our own happiness. Because when you
pursue your own happiness, whether you are
aware of it or not, you will sometimes bring
misfortune to others in order to make
yourself happy. This is what we try to avoid
doing. (3/10/80)
Evidently, Brazilians have devoted themselves
to the study of making themselves happy too,
but are accustomed to bringing misfortune on
others doing it. That is the character of
unbridled hedonism: anything goes in getting
the desired result which is simply to feel
good. In seeking your pleasure you are a
"hell-incarnate denied", rigorously disavowing
association with what you do to elevate
yourself. You may be destroying yourself and
others outright, but if it feels good, that's
all that matters.
However, if examined carefully, they are
certainly not alone in this and scofflaw
self-absorption is the way of the modern
world. This orientation most obviously started
with the iconoclastic vision of the French
Enlightenment and is perhaps most aggressively
expressed in the American Declaration of
Independence. The American Dream cannot
stand much examination in that it quickly
shows up as being a commonly defined crime. At
the same time that Sam Adams was saying that
"the people is a Great Beast", the revered
Founding Fathers presented the following
curious position:
When in the Course of human events it
becomes necessary for one people to dissolve
the political bonds which have connected
them with another, and to assume among the
powers of the earth, the separate and equal
status to which the Laws of Nature and
Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect
to the opinions of mankind requires that
they should declare the causes which impel
them to the separation. -- We hold these
truths to be self-evident, that all men are
created equal, that they are endowed by
their Creator with certain unalienable
Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty
and the pursuit of Happiness.
Evidently their sincerity is subject to
question in that they constituted the moneyed,
propertied and educated elite of the colonies
and were knowingly superior sorts one and all.
What "the Laws of Nature and Nature's God"
might refer to remains a mystery to this day
in that even the Christian Deity (wimpy and
forgiving as He is pretended to be) would not
countenance such an absurd, indeed grotesque,
position as the assertion that "all men are
created equal" and have the right to be
aggressive hedonists.
The unscrupulous pragmatism and treacherous
expediency that resulted from this orientation
was commented on by Black Hawk, the War Chief
of the Sac, in 1833:
I had not discovered yet one good trait in
the character of the Americans who had come
to the country. They made fair promises but
never fulfilled them, while the British made
but few, and we could always rely on their
word.
One of our people having killed a Frenchman
at Prairie du Chien, the British took him
prisoner and said they would shoot him next
day. His family were encamped a short
distance below the mouth of the Wisconsin.
He begged for permission to go and see them
that night as he was to die the next day.
They permitted him to go after he had
promised them to return by sunrise the next
morning.
He visited his family, which consisted of
his wife and six children. I cannot describe
their meeting and parting so as to be
understood by the whites, as it appears that
their feelings are acted upon by certain
rules laid down by their preachers, while
ours are governed by the monitor within us.
Why did the Great Spirit ever send the
whites to this island to drive us from our
homes and introduce among us poisonous
liquors, disease and death? . . . We can
only judge what is proper and right by our
standard of what is right and wrong, which
differs widely from the whites'. The whites
may do wrong all of their lives and then if
they are sorry for it when about to die, all
is well, but with us it is different. We
must continue
to do good throughout our lives.
From Black Hawk's perspective, the situation
was evidently:
Tout est perdu fors l'honneur.
But from the Americans' perspective, the
situation turns out to be much more serious in
real terms (though it may take a while for
this fact to sink in):
Tout est perdu sans l'honneur.
Actually, one suspects that the Great Spirit
did not have much to do with the erstwhile
colonials' movement: They rather do as they
please, don't they?
No doubt this purposefully "turned away" modus
vivendi inspired Ayatollah Komeini's depiction
of Uncle Sam as the Great Satan. It is hard to
miss that the Americans have put God on their
money but have not allowed anything but
demonic purposes to be expressed in the
criminal cabal that they constitute. The
United States has filled the world with
television and movie productions, with
saccharine emotions, voyeur violence, sex
objects, asinine "I-think-I-can" positivism,
TV addiction, unbridled irresponsibility in
the name of "progress" involving an
unabashedly escapist orientation that is
expressed in junk food, convenience stores,
theme and amusement parks, Muzac, television
talk and game shows, sitcoms, millionaire
entertainers of all kinds, free love, school
massacres, yearly trade-ins on automobiles,
demolition derby, hula hoops, planned
obsolescence, drag racing, streakers,
Hollywood sex goddesses, cell phones,
bemansioned TV preachers, edible panties,
roller derby, hippies, yippies, yuppies,
monster trucks, Tinsel Town, TV dinners,
conspicuous consumption, soap operas, fast
food, disposable everything (from diapers to
presidents), date rape, ATVs, suburbia, inner
cities, prohibition, speakeasies, cocktails,
Happy Hour, freeways, an education system that
has produced a vast population of illiterates,
pinball, video and computer games, virtual
reality, the Internet (?????). Is this a
meaningful way of life? Is there anything to
be proud of here? When everyone has a right to
get their own way, justice cannot exist in
that exploiting others to make yourself Happy
is a Right. This active penchant towards
unconscionable abuse has turned the American
people into a nation of litigants ready to sue
anyone that is legally vulnerable mostly
because they themselves are criminally defined
to the core.
Few of us have noted any values in association
with this flood of disposable drivel.
Materialism is not a value. Consumerism is not
a value. When you think about it, Capitalism
is not a value either in that the Almighty
bottom line is really all that matters and a
battery of lawyers are maintained to make sure
that none of the crimes committed are
punishable. The modern world, madly
destructive as it is, has its auto immolating
foundations in these self-centered credos. We
are locked in a descending gyre by our need to
compete with those without scruples, the
unconscionables that call the tune in the
modern world.
By way of contrast, in Javanese mysticism,
some of us eventually become "dead in life"(mati
sajeroning urip), a form of
"hell-incarnate assumed", where the pain of
being is spontaneously and openly expressed in
all we do. We become unable to relate to or
from anything but the totality, the Divine
being, in that we know service to any smaller
body to be plagued by the problems of a
devil's covenant. The danger is that one
become involved in knowingly or unknowingly
defending the beauty or benefit of a lesser
assembly at the rest of our expense through
the use of demonic mechanisms. We know these
unions are not always in bad faith but, from
where we stand, we see with terrifying clarity
that such delimited, circumscribed
associations obviously constitute a de facto
betrayal of all that matters. Nuff said.
However, notwithstanding this turbid societal
environment making reception problematical,
khakiki comes here too as divine, open
statements and receptions that are called
"thought arising from the Will of God" in
Java. However, I have dubbed this phenomenon
the "boom being" and tend to discourage its
expression in Brazil. This external form of
khakiki invariably involves ungrounded
participation here which reflects the
aftermath of the often unbridled joy arising
in the oppressed local natural being as a
result of growing awareness of True or Divine
Justice (Sejatining Keadilan) and the
mechanisms for enacting it. Brazil's
relationship with its natural environment is
and has always been outstandingly vicious and
distructive (as in so many places nowadays,
including Indonesia): burn, forest, burn. In
natural terms, the pain caused by the
environmental rape here has never been given
satisfaction and allowed to release, in much
the same way that Brazil's drivers give no
satisfaction in traffic and you are expected
to pass the pain and irritation they cause to
you along to the next guy.
However, nature does not have a next guy and
the pain has remained intact, festering and
awaiting justice for centuries here lifting
the society into a hate float, i.e.,
Carnival-land is literally suspended on the
pain and hate it has caused with no real
connection with natural being. The processes
of Natural Law are normally too slow to punish
this kind of brutality, misrepresentation and
wanton irresponsibility. From the natural
perspective, the situation is initially not
distinguishable from Divine work, which often
involves pain, disruption and sudden
destruction too in working Open Being.
Normally, by the time the bad faith involved
has been sorted out, the planet is a wasteland
altogether with humans in extinction, i.e.,
the perpetrators of the crime are long gone,
holed up in their heavens or hells still
floating on the hate. As Enya counsels: "On my
way home, I remember only good things".
Really. Once the slime is 'home' and in out of
the cold, they are represented only by the
sweetest and apparently purest of motives and
the horrors of their passage are denied
association, while the obvious criminals are
pointed out in their country club hell
(comfortably thumbing their noses at any real
justice or suffering). Ugly little picture,
isn't it? The only place (except Hecate) I
have ever seen a cosmology that matches the
horror of this iniquity is in
Michael Harner .
As a Nature Worshipper (druid or sutapa),
I work with the expression and resolution of
the resulting problem of unsatisfied natural
pain too and this form of external khakiki
is a phase in the process of eliminating
improper association with the swell of relief,
faith and hope that comes from this effort, in
as much as there is an involuntary Natural
'thanksgiving' that comes after progress in
grounding the being and establishing a path to
justice and, unfortunately, this flood of joy
passes through everyone (even humans) in the
locale.
In Central Java this would not be a problem in
that people keep track of their feelings and
do not claim to control them: rasa
(common mutually defined feeling) goes as it
goes and one constantly moves on to what comes
next without seeking to hold on to what passes
(in that doing so would be a form of
betrayal). However, in a place like Brazil the
tendency is to try to control "good" feelings
and keep them stored up in strings of
definitions and distortions and lies: the
referencing system associated with practices
of hedonistic promotion and sense deprivation
in general. That is, in its general
expression, this joy was initially in contact
with, i.e., passed through, beings who were
not properly contributing to it. As is their
corrupt and corrupting habit, these
indifferent sorts then tried to impound it, to
keep and control it for their own
purposes--generally seeking to find impunity
in this gush of relief. In these terms, this
externalized form of khakiki is a part
of the process of distinguishing and
discriminating beings within this global frame
of 'feeling', of separating "the wheat from
the chaff". As per Natural Law (Purba
Wisesa), the 'physical' context of
relationships with one another, one has no
choice about going through this process to
clean the energies involved, get down to the
ground and go back to work bringing open the
agony once again for more complete expression,
analysis, discrimination, proper association,
justice and eventual release.
So be it.
November 2, 1996
This morning I received a full statement
of the divine principle of interaction and
definition: "Never try to feel or define
anything yourself; let your feelings form
out of the totality and carry on referencing
always to and from the totality in
everything you do," which is just another
somewhat clearer statement of what Sumarah
teaches.
We also finally had a little insight into
the "Buddha smile" which reflects the fact
that it is generally only the evilist of
beings that can become a "World Conqueror"
and they sit in their state of grace and
contemplate their total awareness of the
fact that they never really want to come
clean with anyone: The smile of the bully
who has gotten away with it. This is a
phenomenon of closed beings in the pursuit
of peace and security and works in with the
boddhisattva denial of the simple enactment
of True Justice (Sejatining Keadilan)
and the search for a quick fix or
jeitinho ("Universal Enlightenment") to
get us all out of this mess. The recognition
of my attainment of the Buddha level of
awareness came with my reception of the
Maitreya behest on June 21, 1968 in
Stonehenge, England but I surely am a
different sort of being from the normal
Buddha. I'm certainly evil enough, in fact,
far more immersed in pain I have fostered
than any of them, but I have always come
clean. I serve those I love and their
beauty. To remain covered in uncleared pain
would cut me off from them and render me a
disaster to them as I went the path of the
tyrant to gather them to me, thus destroying
what I love in them and they in me. So I
have opened and stand properly open in all
beings eternally.
November 6, 1996
Full collapse of all of the various
divine and otherwise covenants involving
surrender of disposition, position and
energy by concerned entities in order to
elicit cooperation from humans in the
service of divine purposes was finally
recorded this morning due to the generalized
betrayal of said covenants by the existing,
standing human authorities, who seek only
their own pleasure and thus betray their
trusts. As a result, the open work on the
absolute leveling process is now fully and
openly under way. Hecate noted:
"This is the most joyful moment I have ever
know except for the moment when I found you.
Do you remember when I first found you in
Kelso, Washington in early 1970 and I said,
'You don't mind if I love you very, very
much, do you? You are a beautiful raging
being and I'll always love you anyway. But
if you let me be with you it's going to make
your life very, very hard. I'm hard to
please, you know, and I never let anyone get
away with anything.' and you said, 'I'm not
doing what I do because I enjoy this
hellhole anyway so go right ahead and love
me. By the by, I'm not known for my
forgiving nature either.' 'All right, then,
let's walk you in the sun and see if we can
gather divine presence to your beauty and
develop a path for you out of all this
confusion. It's going to be hell but there
is no other way with so many beings
developing themselves off of you at your
expense. I'd actually suggest that you find
your way somewhere where humans know how to
recognize and serve true beauty as soon as
you can. Right now you're just going to have
to crash under their greed to steal it. They
are tearing you apart and there is nothing
to be done but to suffer it. Suffering is
the way we mature. Suffering is the way we
eventually have choices and are not just
serving the empty protests against the state
of things and bouncing off of the plans of
others. We grow. We grow independent of them
because they don't suffer and they don't
stand and they don't confront and they don't
mature. They stay where they are glorying in
their ability to feel good and we go on
serving the love and eventually begin to
feel a little bit better about it all.'"
November 14, 1996
Last night from 7:30 to 8:10 I had a
unique experience in connection with
rescuing a group of my girls, the lost
girls, from Gloria's grasp. I was down at
the kitchen table and found that with all
the pounding on her they started to become
visible off somewhere and I found one of
them and let her speak through. I started
trying to get her name and was getting all
kinds of sophisticated curses that were
holding the being there. We took a bit to
locate them but then we were on the way. I
was still speaking to her and she said she
had seen me arrive. To try to verify if it
was me I asked, "Do I have a big tummy?" She
said no but I had settled into the being. I
began to check the being, scanning the large
assembly carefully and noting three girls I
thought looked like they had been tortured.
I spoke with them and they said that they
have been crying very hard recently. At that
point, Hecate arrived and was very surprised
to see me there already. A short time later
we were joined by Annis and Hecate told her,
"He is already doing a general read of the
being." Then the rest of our group began to
come in. To clean up the being I then began
to teach them the attitudes of open union by
giving them "Mamayu hayuning pawana,
mamayu hayuning jagad," "Kedahipun
kawula kados pundi?" "Panjenengan
kerso menopo?" and "I didn't make this
mess but I sure am going to clean it up." I
also gave them some Javanese words for
beauty like kusuma and ayu and
many of them reported that these were the
names that they had received as their own.
At that point I found another and asked her
name and she told me she was Aka, and that
she was the group's spokesperson. By this
time everyone had arrived and I hurried to
eat dinner: paella. Sukino said that the
experience was like some of his in clarity
and unassailability of presence and being.
Very beautiful and interesting. Later we
welcomed and settled in the heaven they had
been supported on.
As Hecate commented, "So beautiful. There
will never be another moment like this.
Never, never, never, for the rest of
eternity. Our beloved has truly shown his
stuff."
November 22, 1996
In last night's class I gave my friend a
bit of my vision of Cosmology by placing it
all in terms of Empedocles' vision of the
joining and separating, the love and the
hate of being. I criticized Hawking and
Penrose and said that their vision of the
Big Bang and the Big Crunch are so narrow as
to be ridiculous in that this "Universe" has
only been around for something like 15
billion years. I claimed that there is just
too much information around for that to be
it. I then said that we now assume this to
be normal but in fact it makes more sense to
me to consider the state before the
dispersion of the Big Bang to have been
normal, back when we were expressing our
united sense and love, rather than now when
we are expressing our confusion and hate.
December 1, 1996
This morning when I woke up at 6:30 or so
to the habitual Sunday sound of barrages of
fireworks early on the day of the Sabbath, I
listened to a general khakiki
pronouncement concerning the criminal
character of the Brazilian "Casbah" and its
influence on the rest of the world through
its pursuit and support of criminal purposes
and activities in the expression of its open
scorn for the rest of us. Brazil's lack of
extradition laws was used as an apt example
and open expression of the real purposes of
the society, the behavior it fosters, the
criminal types its supports and attracts.
The absence of such laws, which is something
of an international scandal and mystery, in
that it shows how unwilling Brazil really is
to play square with the rest of humanity,
also gives open expression to the uses put
to the energies Brazil controls. This
especially applies to those more or less
freely irresponsible and hedonistic energies
extracted from Carnival activities, which
literally involve millions of uncaringly
irresponsible revelers seeking the ecstasy
of absolute oblivion and freedom from
accountability for their actions -- oh how
they hate one another and oh how Carnival
gives them an opportunity to express it. In
Natural terms, Carnival constitutes a
generalized form of societal rape separating
Brazilians from their own sacred inner
character in a generalized denial of
responsibility.
As has been said in reference to Brazil,
"There is no sin below the equator." The
pain Carnival releases is astonishingly
powerful and profoundly irresponsible
energy. Obviously Brazil husbands and uses
this energy to make itself "happy" at the
rest of our expense. The distorted character
of Brazilian society with the most
pronounced and unjust income distribution in
the world and its openly destructive
activities relative to the environment (as
in the burning of the Amazon rain forest)
were also noted as expressions of this
societal pursuit.
My contribution in limiting the
effectiveness of Brazil through the exposure
and grounding of its being and presence was
noted and the diminution of its influence
throughout the world as a result was also
observed. Heavens, maybe the world is waking
up to what's going on in this Casbah, where
the only purpose the population accepts is
personal prominence (as per the criminal
Bandeirantes and purely exploitationistic
Portuguese and, in actual fact, the
Caligula-variety of Roman tradition it is
based on) on a general level and yawning
indifference to the consequences of its
actions and to the pain it causes. The drop
in the level of societal "security" in
hiding the connection of Brazilians with the
actions that express them and accountability
for their contribution to existence that I
have brought on in recent days is now
apparent and a great deal of pain and
mischief is now easily being traced back to
its Brazilian source.
December 5, 1996
This morning's khakiki discussed
various interesting aspects of the
situation. First the Javanese described how
they within a very short time were able to
identify me as a divine being due to the
absolute absence of imposition arising from
my presence: I punish imposition; I do not
practice it by pushing anyone to do anything
or controlling anything at all through my
presence. I let all beings be, whatever the
agony involved in doing so. The Javanese
wondered this morning how it is that after
15 years Brazil still has not accepted its
responsibilities relative to me.
We also heard a general description of this
work as opening the wound of humanity and
allowing the putrid pus of evil that festers
within us to come forth and suffer open
expression, exposed in the light of being.
This is a part of the process of healing the
wound that humanity constitutes in the state
of being and in the definition of existence
itself.
In reference to Brazil it was heavily stated
that this "party country" -- with all of its
irresponsibility and destructiveness and
crypto-tyrannical tendencies and practice of
bad faith in all relations both within (batin)
and without (lahir) -- is a tragic
but truculent expression of a simple denial
of accountability. As the openly stated
canons defining the attitudes and practices
of this group admonish: "Take advantage in
everything" (Levar vantagem em tudo),
"No holds barred" (Vale tudo) and the
"quickfix solution" (jeitinho).
FOR
THEY ARE A PEOPLE DEVOID OF UNDERSTANDING!!!
Our presence is now such that the open
statement of Justice is clear within my
ati sanubari and open being (rasaning
kabir and rasaning batin), and
will be spreading out gradually to the full
being and presence. As a result,
justification and maintenance of the overt
and concerted practice of irresponsibility
of these desperate reprobates is likely to
become something increasingly unattractive
to contemplate. We will obviously have no
mercy in dealing with this purposive and
systematic iniquity and infamy in relating
to Nature, the world and the rest of
humanity, notwithstanding the fact that, in
its current escapist furor, the rest of
humanity is deeply involved in this selfsame
evil.
December 14, 1996
Looking back now with the visibility
somewhat clearer nowadays, I can remember my
birthing (conception) roar when I came into
this sphere: "I GOT YOU!"
Perhaps we understand what I meant now.
As Sukinohartono comments, "Everything I have
been saying applies to all of humanity. Anyone
alive in the world carries sins. If we were
pure we would not have been reborn into the
world." I don't wish to argue with the obvious
but, honestly, this is my first time among
anything like "humans" and back where I link
with this specific type of expression, the
concept of life itself was often considered an
orgiastic violation of trust. We were looking
at three forms or orders of being.
-
The third order of being is that of those
who can form a kind of separated reality in
their own experience, taking in being
through food, processing it and selecting
from it in defining their experience and
response to it and then releasing that which
they cannot use as their leavings. These are
the insects and animals of all kinds that
have, especially when you get to the
mammals, a remarkable ability to define
their experience in contrast with or even
oposition to the rest of existence.
This is as far as we had gotten in defining
being at that time, although we had come up
with an awareness of the need for a managerial
and collective sense and awareness to take
care of us all. That is where the human being
arose and then went so hopelessly wrong. We
have been chasing down that disaster ever
since or maybe creating such a powerful
vehicle just had to go through all of this
confusion since those who were least
interested in being of use would evidently
have first access to it. Humans were not
designed to take over in their own experience
management at the expense of the rest of us,
but that's what happened. As the Bible
accurately reports in this particular, man has
the divine form:
Then God said, "Let us make man in our image,
in our likeness and let them rule over the
fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over
the livestock, over all the earth, and over
all the creatures that move along the ground.
So God created man
in his own image
in the image of God he created him;
male and female
he created them. (Genesis 1, 26-27)
It is so, but the appreciation of the
character of this role is misconstrued. God
cares deeply about his charges and accepts
them in open, first order association in
taking on the responsibility of being. Man
does not accept the pain and in fact man is
lord over nothing as a result of not having
earned his authority in that he tends to seek
only his own comfort and convenience in his
relations with all beings. Man in these terms
looks like a dictator who has usurped the
throne rather than earning it through service.
Man has the mechanisms that nature, that we
all together, have defined in association with
this necessary coordinating and organizing
being but then uses them to oppress and
destroy and develop his own path of personal
advantage. Man serves small purposes which
generally are himself and the application of
an "I'm-the-best-fuck-the-rest" credo in one
way or another. Then there are the few
exceptions: in Java's kebatinan we do a job in
line with the divine character of human
experience and accept the responsibilities
that properly adhere to the being.
But, sadly, humanity nowadays generally seeks
nothing but domination and absolute release
from the responsibilities that it bears in its
nature and betrays with its actions. Now in
the Suhul Being
we are taking back the human form and
returning it to its proper natural role. We
will be redefining the character of existence
in that everything ties into it. Prepare
yourselves and seek to find and accept your
responsibilities to all of us, in part because
"it is meet and right to do so" but also for a
simpler reason that humans are more certain to
understand: your punishment for not doing so
will be devastating and absolute, all the way
down to the agonizing ground of being as the
Suhul being knows it. I have had
no difficulty standing the Suhul being:
it is out of the openness that I have come and
it is in openness to all that is that I am
defined now. That is Suhul.
Now imagine the punishment. Set your mind to
visualizing the pain that is coming. Imagine
the agony you have caused to other forms,
other species, other ways of life and being
coming back to you to teach a good and
permanent lesson. There will be no more of
this karmic nonsence. I promise. We have what
we need now to enact proper Justice and we
will do so.
So, now I want you to imagine a world, this
world so filled with the unbridled hedonism of
humanity -- drugs, alcohol, escapism in its
many forms -- and the ruthless denial of
accountability that such profoundly
irresponsible practices and behavior is
connected with. I ask you now to imagine the
real consequences of this virtually
planet-wide bacchanal of sybaritic promotion
and the resulting natural pain and
environmental distruction as the plague of
humans nears its devastating conclusion.
I ask you that are "sensitive" to feel among
the dead. When you do you will surely find
that the picture has changed. The heavens and
hells are disbanded: punishment is open for
all offenses right down to the ground of being
and in progress against those who have set
themselves above the rest of us. Reward comes
to those that openly serve existence and they
now find themselves in a circumstance that is
a window on the eternal path of Justice and
serve it as they are able.
We have a sort of heaven, I suppose, but is a
working, not a promoted affair; it is an
expression of Nature's open concern for us but
to get there you have to be here and have
served us all openly. There are no
dispensations and no salvation based on
anything at all. If you are on your own and
serve and suit yourself, you will have to be
burned clean of the pain you have caused the
rest of us before you can join us.
We also have the only remaining hell, a
natural being called Bale, which is a place
where those who define themselves at all of
our expense and are unaccountable now begin to
know the pain they are to us for themselves.
Admittedly it is not a cheery spot in that the
Closed Beings who get there face eternal
solitary confinement due to their iniquity,
their treachery, their cruelty and their
indifference. The agony they will know forever
is the pain they have given us all and denied
satisfaction for. Those whom none can trust
end up in Bale. We have a extensive and
capable administration coming in large part
out of the Fury being with Kar, Nemesis and
Kundalini being some of the known spirits
among the coordinating group.
That's just the way it is.
But you won't have to imagine these things for
long. They are already present. For those of
you locked in your personal paths, consider
what I intoned above to Gloria in the 1996
letter: "Have no hope: Justice is here." This
is ,
the Twilight of Man, and we who are open know
only agony and disappointment in you. We know
only a constantly rising and spreading and
forming wrath in contemplating you and your
destructive iniquity. You will receive your
just deserts for serving nothing, nothing,
nothing, nothing but infamy, in your frenzied
drive to escape responsibility for your deeds,
for your cruelty, for your scorn for all that
form this world engulfed in your pollution and
brutality, as you fly high expressing your
"I'm-the-best-fuck-the-rest" modus vivendi at
the expense of all those who are here. You
make us sick and only your complete punishment
will make us well. Just think of it as getting
back what you have put in and finally getting
what you have paid for. Nuff said.
However, for those of
you, like so many Javanese, who have done and
are doing much for us all, for those of you
who really try and, in other words, do not
betray what is beautiful within and without
you to promote yourself, who pay attention to
what you are, what you feel and what you do
while accepting your responsibilities to those
who are stated with you in an effort to:
Mamayu hayuning bawana
Mamayu hayuning jagad
Serve the
harmony of the world
Serve the harmony of the universe
your continuing reward and joy in knowing your
own beauty and the beauty of those you have
been working with and for all these years will
be a gradually rising and truly wonderful
experience as we all get to know one another
for the rest of eternity.
eidenai crh ton polemon eonta xunon, kai Dikhn
Erin, kai ginomena panta kat Erin kai Anagkhn.
to themselves and the rest of us. Humans are all hiding from themselves and us in the largest sense and that's about all they end up doing. Their biggest nightmare is being caught and half of the character of the being is designed to make this impossible by flashing through their expression on this world like a prairie fire or a plague of locusts."
done about it but hope we can catch up to them someday and make them pay for all this pain and confusion. That's the sad lesson we have for you and the situation will not change until they are brought to justice for their crimes and release us all from the nightmare they are to us."
of
Jim, my advisor, during his month's stay with me
in Java, when we were climbing Mount Merapi,
Solo's smoking volcano, and one of Joseph
Errington, now a professor of anthropology at
Yale, while at a dinner party at my home in Solo),
Beatrix Pfleiderer and
Robert Kyle , as well as
Michael Rogge , an
authority on
Javanese mysticism and Subud on the Web as
well as Sarah Brightman ,
a lady with a sublime voice,
Sela Ward , a spirited
and lovely thespian, and
Loreena McKennitt , a lass with enormous
talent and a divine voice. Here are letters to two
of my Javanese
kebatinan
masters, Suwondo , the
outstanding pamong I worked most with
(pictures, first of Suhardo, the grand elder
emeritus of the group and the most sensitive,
experienced and intense of the pamongs, in
conference with Suwondo, and then of me and Sri
Sampoerna, one
of the noblest and most demanding of the pamong,
knighted R.T. Joyosampurno at the court of the
king, Sri Susuhunan Pakubuwono, in Surakarta and
finally a shot of Suwondo and me as he arrived at
my farewell dinner)
and
General Harnopidjati, M.D.
, a member of President Suharto's curious assembly
of adepts in the service of the Semar ancestral
being in order to express and defend the beauty
and nobility of the Javanese people. The
Memorial describes my
life experience and gives some of the key beings I
serve. Then the Edicts
gives, in Kantian terms, my "categorical
imperative" for all of existence. In addition,
there are three short papers that start The
Book of Being and consider the issues that
define us all and our positions relative to one
another: "Open and Closed
Psychology: How Different Can We Be?",
"Reflections on Natural Law:
Traditional Holism Revisted" and
"Open Being Versus Closed Being:
The Struggle to Be" . Finally, another paper
written before I went to Java which was presented
at Harvard University in 1973.
"Collective Behavior: An
Emotive Approach" received an A+ and
publication was recommended. This followed another
paper, "From a Greek Vein",
the previous winter at Oberlin College that takes
a, humbly spoken, brilliant approach that strikes
of Java (with some comments added now along with
further exegesis) in analyzing The Iliad
and the workings of Greek philosophy.